FUCK YEAH SHIT MUSIC

Rugrats Drinking Game

Sat, 26 May 2012 15:32:00 -0400

So yea this is not really something that we do, but because I could not find this anywhere on the internet I figured it was our responsibility (as avid drinkers) to lay our mark on the world of alcoholic children’s games.

1. Drink each time someone talks to Spike as if he’s a real human

2. Drink every time one of the babies screws up english

3. Drink every time Tommy acts as if he knows shit

4. Drink every time Phil acts like a lesbian version of Lil

5. Drink every time Chuckie acts like a little bitch

6. Drink every time Angelica acts like a fucking bitch

Simple, but fun =) Enjoy ruining your childhood!

XRepresentX - The Downfall Bitches need a fucking drink…....

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 12:51:11 -0400

XRepresentX - The Downfall

Bitches need a fucking drink…. or some arsenic.

Fuck straightedge people. this song is bullshit. it is not lyrically intelligent and the music sucks. I fucking hate straightedge people. The entire straightedge movement can get on their knees and lick my asshole. I fucking hate straightedge people. Listening to this just made me look at the clock to see if it was 5:00, but it’s not so I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette now.

ps after 4 years of being a smoker, you would think I could spell cigarette without using spellcheck

Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe So, Fuckyeashit music is drunk...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 06:33:00 -0400

Carly Rae Jepsen - Call Me Maybe

So, Fuckyeashit music is drunk as fuck. And, as the 3rd runner up in Canadian American Idol, you would think we would have a lot of bad things to say about this bitch, HOWEVER, we fucking love Carly Rae Jepsen. IN FACT those that have brought you Fuck Yea Shit Music have made our own video to this song. Because, we love it. And even thought it’s so easy to hate on; we’re defeintely not going to because, like I said, WE FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG. So go Carly Rae Jepson. You will always have Fuckyeashitmisic on your side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU. I CANT GET THIS SONG OUT MY HEAD. BTW everyone in my house is sleeping and all i want to do is rock out to my drunken self listening to this song. I’m real drunk. Love Carly Rae Jepsen and love all our followers!!!!!

BTW I hope the fact that we’re just drunk college students resonates with some people

Hysterical - Ellie Soufi Dear Ellie Soufi’s Parents, How...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:40:00 -0400

Hysterical - Ellie Soufi

Dear Ellie Soufi’s Parents,

How stereotypically Californian! Your head is so far up your fucking ass that you eat more shit than the third string on the human centipede.

To all you anglophiles out there, this might make you want to put a switchblade in your own “London” eye.

How fucking lazy can you be, Ark Music? This video is one Google search away from not having an extra chromosome.

1. Walking around with the Union Jack does not make you British

2. Black Urban Outfitters’ glasses does not make you British

3. Catholic school girl uniform does not make you British

4. and an offensive portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II MOST DEFINITELY does not make you British

And the walk you go on: clearly an upper-middle-class Californian suburb.

So yea, Ark Music is the epitome of everything that is wrong with the United States at the moment: rich, uncultured, scum-fucking, suburban, sheltered, conservative, families. Not only does this video exemplify a complete waste of money while some people are swimming in a Bukkake’s worth of financial problems, it also brings to center stage how FUCKING STUPID people can be.

We seriously can’t with Ark Music Factory anymore. No hate to Patrice Wilson, aka Fat Usher; there’s clearly a market out there for rich dumb-cunt trophy wife stage moms who will subject their children to this embarrassment. We just didn’t think of it first.

FIFTY FOLLOWERS MOTHER FUCKERS! Dora- Damn we’re almost at...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 01:15:00 -0400

FIFTY FOLLOWERS MOTHER FUCKERS!

Dora- Damn we’re almost at 50 followers. Took us long enough

Boots- When we get 50 can we lie and say we have 100

Dora- No

Even though we don’t exactly have 100, we love and appreciate every single one of the 50. So celebrate with your favorite haters and help us spread the love.

Also, we can’t say this enough, WE LOVE MESSAGES. So send us whatever’s on your mind. We love it more than Rebecca Black loves Friday.

CHAO! It’s celebratory cigarette time

Game On (Song For Rick Santorum) - First Love Is it just us, or...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:30:00 -0400

Game On (Song For Rick Santorum) - First Love

Is it just us, or are you getting the gay vibes from literally EVERYONE in this video… especially the fat guy? He looks like the closetted version of Cameron from Modern Family with a dash of desire for little boys.

Only Santorum’s finest.

These dumb fucking women have absolutely no idea the ramifications of what they’re saying. They’re talking about justice, morale, power, hope. You do realize that if Rick Santorum had his way your dumbasses would be forever barefoot and pregnant, right?

So ditch those banjos, ladies, and open wide, you’re gonna rear a child!

…and have dinner on the table by 5:30

By supporting Rick Santorum, you fine females set the women’s movement all the way back to the Scott v. Laci Peterson days, because your mere stupidity justifies any man laying his hands on you.

So make your music while you can, bitches. We hope you become famous one day so your songs become a valuable asset when your father tries to marry you off in exchange for the neighbor’s pig farm.

Good Luck =)

My Moment - Rebecca Black So usually we just like to bitch and...

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 00:52:21 -0500

My Moment - Rebecca Black

So usually we just like to bitch and moan about shitty music. But, yea, here’s fuckyeashitmusic’s unpopular opinion of 2012…

We fucking love Rebecca Black.

Fuck this girl’s haters. Fuck the people that take sick pleasure in writing nasty comments about a little girl. We support Rebecca Black. Friday is the song we play to get ready for a night out; Friday is the song we play when we’re feeling shitty; Friday is the song that we all remember where we were when we first heard it.

So go Rebecca Black. The hell with the haters. You have us on your side. This is most definitely your moment so shine.

And secret confession, I don’t know if I speak for the both of us when I say this, but I would love Ms. Rebecca Black to come to one of our house parties. We love her. So if by chance she sees this, just send us a message if you’re ever in the Washington D.C. area.

Oh and it’s Friday Bitches! How Appropriate

I hope you can tell that Dora is def drunk right now. JTLYK (Just To Let You Know)

Publish!

UPDATES Y’ALL So to start off, Yea we havent had much time...

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 01:01:11 -0500

UPDATES Y’ALL

So to start off, Yea we havent had much time to bitch and moan about music videos; not because of a lack of material (have you heard Paris Hilton’s new song?) but for the fact that our professors have decided to drop an ocean’s worth of bullshit on us.

you know the feeling

And speaking of our school, rumor has it that American University has already passed a smoking ban on campus for next semester that they’re keeping as their dirty little secret.

If you know us at all, you can only imagine how we feel about our “dry” campus policy… but NO SMOKING. Are you fucking kidding?!

So within the next couple of weeks, if there is no commentary posted on here it’s because Dora and Boots are out SMOKE-U-PYING WASHINGTON DC

‘Tis The Season

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 22:45:00 -0500

‘Tis The Season

Hot Stuff - Lexi Sullivan This bitch looks like what would...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 21:57:00 -0500

Hot Stuff - Lexi Sullivan

This bitch looks like what would happen if Jesse Eisenberg’s little sister was hit by a fucking Amtrak…

And the boy most definitely bears resemblance to a premature crack baby.

Oh Ark Music Factory, you never seize to amaze us. Lets point out how this song makes absolutely no fucking sense. Just listen to the words.

When we said that she looks like she got hit by the Amtrak, of course we weren’t referring to her face; we were referring to the complete lack on continuity between every line in this song that could only be the result of a serious case of amnesia caused by getting hit by a fucking train… multiple times.

Does he really have it goin’ on? Or does he just think he does?

At the same time, Ms. Sullivan, we sense a bit of hypocrisy here because we’re sure you think you’re “hot stuff” for having your name on this steaming pile of shit associated with the gem also known as Ark Music Factory.

To you, little lady, we say…

“please, whatever”

Last Friday Night - Pinkie Sparkle (Katy Perry) This is what her...

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 23:37:00 -0500

Last Friday Night - Pinkie Sparkle (Katy Perry)

This is what her Friday nights would look like if Katy Perry lived in a world drempt up by the creators of My Little Pony… -oh wait

Now we’ve pointed out some ridiculous fan videos on Youtube: the Super Bass and Single Ladies (dolls version), the Lion King dubbed wit Bieber songs… IT’S BAD out there

But who the fuck has the time to do this?! Who the Fuck is THIS much of a fan of My Little Pony?! Like, this video is too good; the ponies even enunciate the words correctly.

Well kudos to you PinkieSparkle for creating an accurate portrayal of Katy Perry as if she were a fucking Pegasus getting batshit wasted at the local dive bar in the magical land of Equestria. But we still think you have too much time on your hands.

Also. Did anyone else know that this show has a cult following among male-bodied-individuals ages 15 and above?! They’re called Bronies. And I do not say “male-bodied” to be pretentious, I’m saying that because even as a gay man, I still reserve the right to question the masculinity of anyone “male” that watches this show.

seriously. guys. what was with this shit?

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 02:41:31 -0500

seriously. guys. what was with this shit?

Stupid Hoe - Nicki Minaj This is what happens when Ru Paul gets...

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 17:20:00 -0500

Stupid Hoe - Nicki Minaj

This is what happens when Ru Paul gets lost in a world dreamt up by the corpse of Amy Winehouse on Ecstasy.

Why the fuck does Ms. Minaj feel the need to proclaim to the world how much she loves getting rim jobs. Look at this tongue at 0:26 followed by “eat my ‘cucaroll.’” Really, Nicki?

And not to be gross, but it really makes me wonder if, along with those thighs and cheek bones, she also paid for her asshole and is now looking to show it off.

Just throwing that out there.

We really do love Nicki Minaj, but this song just sounds like some ghetto pretween “mean girl” from Oakland, California has it out for some chick who stole her 6th grade boyfriend. Get over it. This does nothing good for your career but make you look you look foolish… grow up.

If anyone’s the stupid hoe, Nicki, it’s you.

Give Me All Your Luvin’ - Madonna featuring Nicki Minaj...

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 17:46:05 -0500

Give Me All Your Luvin’ - Madonna featuring Nicki Minaj and MIA*

Nothing about this song needs to exist. First off, did Madonna decide that she was going to make us all excited to see her at the Super Bowl by making some video about football players worshiping her and doing everything they can to save her, and then her ripping their heads off at the end? Because it doesn’t work that way. Unless you can magically become Bruce Springsteen by Sunday, we’re not excited.

And then she had to drag Nicki and MIA into this. Nicki’s a trooper, and she’ll do pretty much anything as long as she’s getting paid and can appear in the video in minimal clothing. MIA, however, looks like she wants to break out an M16 and shoot everyone involved in the making of this video. And I don’t blame her—this song is terrible, the video makes no sense, and she and Nicki are just getting paid to follow around some delusional old white lady who’s probably 85% silicone and fillers at this point.

But the weirdest part (or top three, because there’s also those scary cheerleaders with fake Asian masks, I guess because Madonna didn’t want real Asian girls involved?) is that baby. Halfway through the song, there’s a shot of Madonna shoving a baby’s face into her leopard print bra, and that makes absolutely no sense. But nothing in this video makes sense. What’s really fucking weird is that she ends the video by throwing the goddamn baby. Seriously, girl, what’s wrong with you? We already don’t know if you should be trusted with kids because you went to Africa and pretty much just pointed at your favorite baby and took it home, regardless of whether or not he already had parents. And throwing them while screaming “touchdown!” just doesn’t help that image.

Hopefully I’ll already be wasted by the halftime show so that I don’t have to handle this shit. Because I can’t.

*Funny story. Dora used to think that Nicki Minaj was a terrorist. Why? Because Nicki reminded him of MIA, and MIA is a terrorist, so therefore Nicki was one, too.

The Antichrist Shall Come- The Final Stand STOP STOP STOP STOP...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:06:05 -0500

The Antichrist Shall Come- The Final Stand

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. I can’t…for real.

This is just too overwhelming. It slams our eardrums with over-dramatic choir singing peppered with bullshit news reports from around the world alerting us of this great politician who we’re supposed to believe is the Antichrist until the world finally comes to an end and the “demons” creepily laugh at us and smear blood on every surface imaginable.

It’s as if someone was slowly inserting a Q-Tip into your ear for 3:43 and you can do nothing about it. This just doesn’t stop.

The “Antichrist” has the acting skills of a retired, ugly, D-List, Telanovela wannabe while those demons look like rejected Power Ranger villains so ferocious that the Pink Ranger couldn’t be bothered. Very intimidating…seriously. When the actual Antichrist actually gets here with his demons, speeches, and book-of-revelation panache, I’ll make sure to tell him to go back to the 90s and don’t show his face till he has a better video because word on the street is that they’ve updated Windows Movie Maker since then, but I could be wrong.

And finally, if there was ever any need for a viewer discretionary warning, it would advise that the young hearts and weak souls out there who’ve seen this video may or may not feel the need to throw themselves in front of a cargo train after watching this shit because no I was not scared of the “graphic imagery,” but I do fear for the fate of humanity. Done.

We Are America (Hot Hard Rock Version) - Courtney Stodden This...

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 15:42:06 -0500

We Are America (Hot Hard Rock Version) - Courtney Stodden

This is, without a doubt, the most unnecessary remake of anything ever. The “hot” hard rock version isn’t even that different from the original. All the autotune is still there, standing strong, just buried beneath some cheap guitars probably tracked by the most shameless rock musicians ever. And only Courtney Stodden could choose a photo of herself where she appears to be mid-blow job for the still of a heartfelt patriotic song.

On another note, Courtney, please hear our wishes and make a video for this song. You’ve now done two versions, and yet no video. We want one so bad it hurts. You could take this song to a whole other level of “I can’t believe she just did that.” I’m sure there would be lots of writhing on flags, standing on beaches looking emotional while wearing a bikini, and some badly-chosen stock images of national heros. Please, Courtney, hear our prayers, and do this for us.

If This Pussy Could Talk - Ken Dahl This is just a hot mess of...

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:03:10 -0500

If This Pussy Could Talk - Ken Dahl

This is just a hot mess of computer beeps, orgasm noises, and various repetitions of the word “pussy.” I never thought I’d say that “Both Of U” would be the pinnacle of Ken Dahl’s artistic achievement, but it is. Ken Dahl has successfully made the worst song ever. Twice.

First off, since when does he have a pussy? I get that he tried to take care of his six-head with a fucking Joan Jett on meth haircut, but as far as I know, he’s still not part of the Pussy Club.

Second of all, “if this pussy could talk, it would tell you my life story”? What does that even mean? Your pussy would tell me about all of the STDs it’s picked up as it fucked its way around every dick you laid eyes on? Yeah, that’s something I’d want to hear about from your fucking pussy, Ken Dahl.

Third, this song is the most repulsive attempt at sexuality that I’ve ever heard in my life. Every fucking word out of Ken Dahl’s mouth makes my pussy want to retract into my body and never see another dick again. Between that haircut, that chick who’s handcuffed to a table in front of Ken Dahl’s writing back-up dancers, that weird silver thing that’s trying to “get that pussy,” and the vaguely-racist pimp chatline in the intro, I’m ready to take a vow of fucking celibacy.

Thanks, Ken Dahl. Thanks a fucking lot.

THAT LANA DEL REY REVIEW UFFF GOOD JOB!

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 14:00:59 -0500

any time. we appreciate the love

In 2 Days - Sasha Bognibov Guys, I found it. I found the worst...

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 20:41:06 -0500

In 2 Days - Sasha Bognibov

Guys, I found it. I found the worst song on YouTube.

This is another masterpiece by Sasha Bognibov. I’m relatively convinced that the reason Moldovans have the highest alcohol consumption rate in the world is because this dude exists, and there’s probably other people in that country just like him. I’m really, really sorry Moldova. You have enough problems; Wikipedia tells me that you’ve got some money problems, a crazy black market, and a bunch of drug-resistant TB. You don’t need this dude.

Sasha Bognibov is one creepy motherfucker. He got banned from participating in Eurovision because he sang a girl called “I Love the Girls of Thirteen Years Old.” And just tell me this video isn’t about some sort of weird murder-rape challenge course in a forest. And most importantly, there’s his fucking face. If he came up to me in a club, I’d run the fuck away. He looks like he keeps an assortment of roofies in his shirt pocket, and knows all sorts of secrets as to which ones mix best with which drinks.

And if you can bring yourself to listen to the lyrics, Bognibov get even creepier. He’s known this girl for two days, and is already having an emotional breakdown. I mean, whatever, I’m sure Taylor Swift has written a song about the same thing. But T-Swift would never tell her crush-of-the-week, “There are many ways to get you, but I don’t want to hurt you bayybehhh.” Sasha-Bog, please name one scenario running through your head that wouldn’t violate some part of your lady-crush’s psyche. I’m pretty sure that “strategies to seduce women” and “strategies to hurt women” are mutually exclusive.

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go find myself some mace and a rape whistle, because I no longer feel safe walking the streets knowing that this guy is out there somewhere.

NEW NAME, BITCHES.

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 19:22:52 -0500

THE ARTISTS FORMERLY KNOWN AS THINGCALLEDMAGIC WILL NOW BE GOING BY FUCKYEAHSHITMUSIC. GET EXCITEDDDDDDDDDD.

ALSO, I MAY GET DRUNK LATER THIS EVENING AND MAKE SOME OTHER CHANGES.

AND IN CASE YOU COULDN’T TELL, I’VE ALREADY BEGUN DRINKING.

XOXO, BOOTS & DORA